I want / Ich Will !

I think being well known all over the world is not everything, sometimes I wish fewer people know but that smart group of people that know me, trust me, believe me, hear me, believe me as a human not as a service or an object!It often happens that in a party when all people are talking about various topics, the only topic will talk to me is computer stuff, Yes computer is my favorite topic and I like it and I can talk about it for long time non-stop, but when someone know nothing about computer try talk to me about computer, it happens that I feel this is kind of a fake respect to me, they want to help me feel better in their meeting or party bla bla…

Another scenario is when I’m not in a meeting, I’m at home and my phone rings, ah! someone wants to say Hi and did not forget me!!, I answer the phone and after greeting I realize that yeah, again they have a computer problem and that’s the reason they remembered that there are a someone named Omid which they can say Hi!, Why don’t call me when they are happy or sad to share their happiness or let me help them when they are sad…?

I know that I’m not a very chatty or conversational human, but I can talk about things too, cannot I?
Now now, I’m not asking hey please talk to me! It’s not your fault! I’m asking what I’ve done that this happen? What problem you have noticed in me that cause people think of me like this? What’s the reason?
Is that because I’m usually silent?
Is that because I’m too cold?
Is that because I’m not friendly in a conversation?
Or…? Please tell me!

Have a good day!

Watch this video on YouTube.

English translation lyric:

I want – Rammstein
“Ich will” (German for I want)

With the english lyrics

I want

I want you to trust me
I want you to believe me
I want to feel your eyes on me
I want to control every heartbeat

I want to hear your voices
I want to disturb the peace
I want you to see me well
I want you to understand me

I want your fantasy
I want your energy
I want to see your hands
I want to go down in applause

Do you see me?
Do you understand me?
Do you feel me?
Do you hear me?
Can you hear me?
(We hear you)
Can you see me?
(We see you)
Can you feel me?
(We feel you)
I don’t understand you

I want

We want you to trust us
We want you to believe everything from us
We want to see your hands
We want to go down in applause – yeah

Can you hear me?
(We hear you)
Can you see me?
(We see you)
Can you feel me?
(We feel you)
I can’t hear you

Can you hear us?
(We hear you)
Can you see us?
(We see you)
Can you feel us?
(We feel you)
I can’t hear you

I want

Strings of my mind

I posted this without spell-check or grammar check, without review etc, just think and write and post:

I think its not just me that sometimes get confused in his life, Don’t know what to do and what should not do, It happen for everyone and that’s life, now its like that for me.

It’s about 5-6 years that I finished my school, and yet nothing has happened in my life, no stable job, yet I own nothing in my life, not a Home or a room, not a car or anything else that worth anything. Don’t get me wrong, money is not all, during these years I’ve earned nothing, either money or certified or reputation or even a good routine in my life.

I’m trying to work, I’ve many plans for my life, learning many things, finishing many projects, earning lots of money! and move from where I’m living, I’m working hard for that and always feel how short a day is, but even in the end of this short day when look to see what I’ve done I see that I’ve wasted it and did nothing, even I did not complete 1% of  progress of one of those tasks…

What I’m doing wrong? what’s wrong in my life, why everything is related to each other and when you want to start one task you see it need you finish other task first and when you go to that you see it need you do that other thing? When I want to get a job I see it need that first I learn a skill, when I go for that skill I see I need income of that job first…! Ok, I go for a job that don’t need any skill (and is not what I like) but that’s waste of time, That job get my time that I cannot learn skills for my favorite job and also income of this job that I dislike is not enough for a poor life too, What the hell should I do?

Again it’s not all about job and money, same goes for my life, for the my relation and our behaviors, people who we meet everyday and how we should deal with them, these are people you should respect, they are closed minded people that you cannot leave them but cannot live and deal with too. Living like a stranger.

I feel like I’m loosing my talents, I’ve been one who with reading a text once could save it all in his mind but now I get problem for keep a phone number in my mind, What’s wrong? Why it’s happening?

I feel so lonely, people are strangers, They are living in a world that I don’t like, their dreams and wishes and happiness is what I don’t like, I cannot find someone who become alike me to go out with and talk, Thanks to my online friends that listen to me and help me always, but don’t we need someone who be able to talk face to face? to spend our days with them and don’t be alone?

I feel that my life is not complicated, I don’t have a big problem, I’ve too many small problems that I think by solving one of them all of other problems will be solved too, just need to find solution which is not easy!

If you read this please share your thoughts with me, tell me what you think and if you have any suggestion I will be happy to hear.

Thank you all