I want to say something

I want to say something but I don’t know what, I want to talk, I want to speak but to no one, I want to express myself but no word is capable of doing that, I want to say whatever that comes to my mind but no ear can listen, I know there are people who are willing to help and offer me to listen to me but…

Does everyone have to listen to my complains? Complaining about everything and everyone, Do they have to listen to my words when you realize those are absolute nonsense, Yeah really nonsense because there are no thinking behind those words, those are just something to be said…

I am (or at least I’ve been, but I am) one who don’t care about gender of my friends, boys and girls are same for me, I don’t care about their age, even in some case I prefer old ones to youngers since old people most of the times are more wise, I am kind of person who don’t care how reach or poor is my friend, I just care about their culture and how they behave, I care about their manners, but after-all it seems I did something wrong here as I realized that after 23 years living on this earth I’ve only 1-2 friends (out of cyber) who care about my existence and my dead of alive may have some difference for him.

Often people ask me why I don’t have a girlfriend, I don’t know why it matters for them but here I will try to answer them. In fact I do NOT hate girls, I like them, they are beautiful and sometimes kind, and a better ear and shoulder for some special topics where no boy can help, a good girl can color-up a life very well and help you in emotional moments, but… there are an important BUT here, a bad girl (or even just a not good one) can ruin your life worse than a Nuke!

As stated above, boys and girls are same for me when it comes to a friendship and I never avoided a friendship because that person is a girl or boy, or being ‘nicer’ to one because of the gender, and I never tried to start a connection to a one because she is a girl (and often I don’t do for boys too), I’ve my own life and I let the friendships to happen all by sudden. In my life I’ve seen girls that I deadly liked and dreamed how awesome it could be if she was mine but I never went ahead because I had nothing that match them so our friendship would be waste of time for her and I did not want it for her.

Don’t call me selfish, but in a friendship I look for ‘benefits’ too, not economic and I even avoid that my friendship cost anything for anyone, but I expect at least one good in that friendship, either boy or girl friend, one friend has good for education, one help with life events, one help have a good time, one is good at helping manage emotional moments, one is a good co-worker one is good at special skills like medicine or mechanic etc… and I don’t like those that just waste our time and money, Is that selfish?

Over the last 4-5 years I heard another thing about myself from people and it was that they complain I’m a very low-profile person and my life is a mystery for them, here I say they are wrong indeed, I don’t hide much about my life, if I’ve nothing to say its not that I’m hiding anything, its that my life is very simple, every day is same and not much ‘event’ to talk about.

 

I think that’s enough for now, Will write much more later in next post(s).

 

Have a good times!
-Omid

10 thoughts on “I want to say something”

  1. Dear Omid, sometimes it is hard to express oneself. Try writing your thoughts down if there is no “ear” around for you to speak and discuss your thoughts. Sometimes seeing it and rereading it can make it clearer for you.

    Many people only have 1 or 2 true friends, I dont find that unusual.

    We all have something to complain about, and we all hope for someone to listen to our complaints. Kind of why we have 2 ears and 1 mouth… :)Nothing wrong in looking for friends with benefits, afterall if you get nothing from a friend then are they really a friend? Its not selfish, at least not in my thoughts.

    I like a simple life, I think its a pretty good way to live. I would rather spend time with a friend walking through a park than going out to a fancy dinner.

    I also think old and young alike can learn from each other, and us older people many times need reminders of what youth is all about.

    ♥ya
    Linda

  2. Let me start off by saying you definitely have MORE than just 1 or 2 cyber friends who care about you. Omid! Just because you don’t hear from them every day, doesn’t mean they’re not concerned about you. In life, true friends are like gold and hard to come by. Most of us have very few “real”, close friends. It takes equal participation by both parties for any relationship to work, so of course, you expect something from your friends, the same way they expect something from you. In my opinion, that’s not at all selfish.

    As Linda said, most of us have something to complain about and if we can’t vent to our friends, then they aren’t really friends, yes?

    As for the girlfriend issue, may I just quote an old cliche’: “It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all”. Yes, a bad love match can mess you up, but, it’s worth the risk, because, when it’s good, it’s wonderful! ♥ You just have to be careful with your choices.

    Linda also made an excellent point about old and young people learning from each other. I wish you a good week my friend. ((HUGS))

  3.  I did not talk of Cyber friends, I said out of cyber, I mean else than cyber I’ve that much friends.
    Also about “girlfriend’ I don’t call it an issues, I just explained situation 😉

  4. Omid, I used to have lots and lots of friends grow up but in the last 10 years or so, they have dwindled down to 3 of 4 good friends. I don’t really like it this way but it is the way it is and I was responsible for some of it. A lot of my friends were surrounded by too much drama. I have enough problems in my life to deal with others’ who are so much drama, all the time. I have stayed away and now they are more like acquaintances.  We say hello when we run into each other in the street but we don’t keep in touch. As we grow older, people change. I am not willing to change me to fit in with them. If they can’t accept me the way I am, then so be it.
    Do I get lonely, yes. But I find things to do to take my mind off it. It’s better then having friends that give me headaches just listen to all THEIR problems all the time.
    Hang in there my friend, you are not alone, you will always have us 🙂

  5. Hi omid,—— friends who like each other, & have something in common are hard to come by- I have very few friends also_ that are there If I really need them_ just to talk_ or Just be there- when you are down or up- i know alot of people and we are friendly, but that is Not the same-as being able to bare your soul to someone & know that is as far as that conversation will go_ But I also know  I have to Be that friend in return to them- its a mutual trust-
    girlfriends are good_ if_ you have things in common_ enjoy each other like just being together, to talk & share & have like and respect for each other- again its a mutual feeling_ the bad ones _ well we all make mistakes_ or I have in Choice’- when you talk about being selfish _ its Not really selfish_ we all seek out boys or girls for reasons that we need them or they us- what it boils down To_ is What are you looking for in a Girlfriend ? only You know the answer to that, from experience good & bad_ I have learned the hard way_ choose someone You like, first, their smile, personality, honesty, manners, ambition , what they like and think_ are these the same things I want, if Not- you are better to back away, than get more involved.
    you have alot to offer_ from knowing you on cyber friends- you are smart, you have a sense of humor, I believe you to be honest, hard working & looking to have a better life_ thats Alot””
    Always Be yourself _ if you aren”t people will find Out anyway_
    Hope this helps a little-  The Main thing is Stay Busy_ doing something- as you are- going to school & learning all the up to date computer things, you are not alone_ never think that_ as you see_ your cyber friends are here_ & that is alot more than some people have_
    Hugs:) my friend:
    glenda

  6. Omid, you know that we, your friends on MFF do listen and read everything you write. Good friends are hard to come by these days and we do consider you one of our best friends. I am sorry you are feeling so bad right now, but things will get better, you just have to hang in there. Remember, I have been unemployed the better part of 3 years and I almost lost my apartment. I know how it feels to wonder “why am I doing this”, life should not be this hard. But I just wake up and keep going and I have to believe some time soon, things will get better. I and I do believe it will happen for you to.
    Please feel free to talk with us anytime about anything, Just Keep Talking to us!

    J

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